To Those Who Say “I Want To Do Big Things” for 2019

You’re young and bright. Ambitious, goal oriented, a people person, too! You know you have the potential to “do big things” (make lots of money, give back to the community, do great things for your family, etc.)

But here is your greatest contribution to society. Love.

You see life has it’s ups and downs.
Life has times and seasons of struggle and of great happiness. Isn’t it great when we strive for our personal goals and we attain it and get the rush and high off of happiness knowing our success has paid off?! It also can be discouraging when we things dont go as planned.
Life really is what you make it, yes. Through happiness and through hardships, you can choose to look through any set of lens when you go through any season in life.
But the people that go with you, lift you up, and encourage you through ALL seasons in life are truly a blessing and life changers. When someone loves on you even when you don’t deserve it, it rocks your world. It awakens something in your mind that can change everything. An encouraging word or act brings relief, grace, and peace to the soul. And when it is unexpected, think of the example and impact you lay on others!

So if you want to “do big things” this 2019 year, remember how much of an impact it can be to stop and see people. To really see and step into the shoes of others- without barriers and without hesitation. Be love. It is the greatest gift you can give to anyone.

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How I Landed My Dream Job and How You Can To

My dream started to come alive when I was 19 years old. I had a dream that one of my very best friends, Moranda, told me that I would move to Fort Lauderdale. In the background was the sea and she was standing on the shore. Being from a Native American background, we take dreams to heart…so I woke her up to tell her. After I told her my dream, her phone buzzed and it was an alert that read “flash flood warning for Lauderdale county”. We lived in Lauderdale county at the time, and it was a strange coinsidence that I just told her that she told me in my dream that I would be going to Fort Lauderdale. Ever since that day, I told myself that it was meant to be that I would end up in Florida.

When I was about 20 years old, I stepped foot on the sands of Miami, Florida and knew something about the area was calling my name. I instantly fell in love with the area. There was a sense of home, peace, and security when I thought about Alabama, but when I thought about Miami and the Fort Lauderdale area, I knew I would end up here, but I didn’t know why. I instantly fell in love with the idea of being here. I dreamed of doing marketing, sales, working my way up and making something of myself in the business world. I knew at 20, that I had no degree yet, and that my experience was limited. So for the next few years, I created different timelines on where I wanted to be and when. I knew timing was everything if I was to chase after my dreams in an area that was 16 hours from home.

For the next few years, I went through ups and downs. When I means ups, I mean there were times when the world was in my hands and I was dancing. And when I mean downs, there were times when I thought negatively about myself, I doubted myself, settled for less, and even accepted at times that I didn’t have it in me to go after what I wanted and who I wanted to be as a woman. That would have left me the dreamer, rather being someone who actively lives out their dreams and proactively goes after the dream.

My ups and downs are not what led me where I am today. Today, I am in my mid 20s. I am who I am, not because of where I have came from or what I have been through, but who I have decided to be and by directing my focus on how I choose to respond to situations and people in life. You can do anything, but it takes a mentality that is focused, and persistent to do anything.

When I turned 25 years old, the dream started to come more alive. I took 5 years of dreaming, praying, working my butt off, and thinking. I was at the point where I had graduated college, gotten amazing management, sales, and marketing experience, but my biggest driver was the 5 years of dreaming, planning, and becoming passionate while still being patient for the right time to go. I never really understood until this past winter when or if I could ever go “all in”.

By “all in”, I mean choosing to go after what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be, and accepting that I can do anything in life. I chose to love myself and stand for who Kaylie is, and walk confidently. I decided it was time to take a big leap of faith and make the move to Florida.

This didn’t happen alone. My family is very supportive of my ambition and always has been. Whenever I felt down as a child (I was very stubborn, wanted my own way, hard child to deal with because of my type A personality) my mom always told me I would do so well in my career. I hung on to those words. Times when I get down or feel weak in myself, I hang on to my moms words that she believes in me and that I have a purpose and will do amazing things.

My dad’s friend is the one who told me about the job I have now on my ship. When she told me about the job, I knew it was for me. I decided to go all in and apply. I gave it 100% with my resume, personality, and interview process. I have now landed my dream job and living every day feeling so fulfilled. Of course I miss my family and friends terribly back home, but I am living my dream job and doing amazing things and learning so much as well. I am beyond blessed and I could not have gotten where I am if I had not decided to go all in.

My first ship I went on was out of the Fort Lauderdale/Miami area. One of my last days on land there was taking the time to stand on the sand to look at the sea. And knowing that I was grateful that I had the opportunity to work my dream job.

My encouragement to you, if you are ready to chase your dreams, will be these tips:

  1. Create a dream.
  2. Create timelines. Write the goals and when they will be achieved.
  3. Being patient but continually have the idea of when your goals should be achieved.
  4. Work every day toward it. If you lose sight, you lose the purpose of the goal. Then it stays a dream and never becomes real. Every day is not an opportunity, it is an essential tool to get you where you want to be.
  5. Be open to feedback. Never easy to hear, but if I had brushed off the advice I have been given from people I have looked up to, I maybe would have stayed complacent and gotten to comfortable with where I was.
  6. When you fall down, get back and up and make a gameplan of how you won’t fall down.
  7. When the opportunity comes and you have taken the time to prepare, GO FOR IT. Listen to your gut, and if you feel a peace, then definetly GO FOR IT.

I hope my story has been encouraging, I could truly write a book on all the details that led me where I am. But I want to keep this short and sweet as much as possible so that you are encouraged, inspired, and feel like you are not reading a novel. Good luck and best wishes that all your dreams may come true.

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Put Your Pain To Purpose!

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Going through pain is like going through miles and miles of rose thorns in the fog. You push multitudes of branches, with long arms of perfectly-pointed thorns to clear a path to which you can be free. You experience each individual rose’s piercing of the skin and each time you jump back a little, as you go further and further down the path. Funny, how a rose can appear so beautiful, yet hold something that can pierce the skin, huh? A rose can draw one near, but then also cause someone to back away quickly.

You go through the path of roses pushing away and stomping down every rose to get to freedom, where there is no pain. Your motivation is some people’s “normal”. You strive for peace. We don’t always get to pick the path that we are brought to, but it doesn’t mean that we have to walk the same walk forever. In fact, at some point, you will be set on a different path. If we do not choose to put our pain to purpose, then we will be walking on a new path, but with the walk that we walked through a path of thorns.

Picture this. You walk down a path of thorns for 10 days. Then, you finally find a way out. The new path is beautiful! The ground is clear- trimmed grass, beautiful lilies, and an inviting atmosphere for your feet. Are you going to walk as if you were still surrounded by thorns- dancing your feet to avoid getting pricked, fearing the pointy devils that once poked you? NO! In fact, you would probably let go of all of the fear, tilt your head back, and enjoy the freedom of not being pricked. Then you move forward.

Sometimes, life’s pains are more complicated. They are timely, involve our loved ones, a pain in the butt to address, and we think that we can sweep pain under a rug. The problem with this is that when you stand on the rug that you sweep your pain under, you end up with a crooked foundation, and eventually you get a pile of gunk under your feet. Gross. It’s actually easier on yourself to address the pain you go through than to pretend that it is not there, so that you can be set free.

Easier? Yes, I said easier! I will say it again, it is easier to address your pain, do what you need to do to get out of a painful situation, and put on a new set of dancing shoes. A new season means a new walk. When you have stepped out of a time of pain, we no longer have to walk as if there are thorns under our feet any longer. Please understand that I am not underestimating painful situations, seasons, or circumstances.

The purpose of me telling you this is that at some point, when you have came out of painful situation in life, you have the opportunity to begin a new walk, through a new season. We can’t walk through life still holding on to the pains of yesterday when we have a purpose for today. The two just don’t go hand-in-hand effectively. You have to let go, so that a rebirth can begin.

So how do we practically put “purpose to our pains”? First, address the pain. Ask yourself these questions:

  1. What am I feeling?
  2. What is the source of this pain?
  3. If I hold on to this pain, how will it hold me back in my spiritual, mental, and physical walk in life?
  4. How do I let go of this pain?
  5. Can I be a promoter of positivity over the pain? (To yourself, others, etc.)

Now that we may see a little clearer what the pain is, exactly, let’s let go of the weight….

  1. Breathe. Take time, as much as you need! Truth? I have had to mentally forgive people throughout my life many times in my head. Forgiveness is easier to tell someone who brings you pain, than to tell yourself, and sometimes we operate and think as if we never did. This is unnecessary pain and it will hold you back. So breathe. Let it go. And meditate on letting go of your pain with every breath.
  2. Find encourage warriors. This may be a counselor, therapist, family, or friends. These people will be the ones to help pull you out of pain. They are so important! Appreciate them, thank them, and bless them with thanksgiving. And remember them.
  3. Do things in your life that will only pull you to greater heights. Some things you will need to let go of during this time, because your happiness and coming out of this is crucial. You were made to conquer, so make your days align with your purpose.

And last, but not least, when you have came out of your pain, and sometimes while you are going through getting out of a painful situation, you have people along the way that will be so encouraged. Be a helper, share your experiences, and love greatly. Remember, this world runs because of love, so be kind and help others who are struggling. You may be the very thing that awakens something inside someone that will change their life. I believe we all carry this type of influence.

The good news is that your pain has purpose. Every day is an opportunity to learn, grow, and love. If something that we are doing is not promoting one of these things, it can hold us back from our purpose and finding our potential. Painful situations can be really tough, see them for what they are. Perspective is everything, take your pain, and put it to purpose. You were born a warrior!

 

 

 

How To React to Trauma

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Alright guys, I want to write about how to react to trauma. Yes, I am about to go there. It’s about to get raw, thick, and deep.

Trauma sucks. But let’s not stay there. Trauma is what it is, and you are what you are. The two are in itself two separate concepts. You see, the moment you allow your past trauma to define who you are, that is the moment you breathe life into something that is dead- the past. You cannot breathe both life and death- you can only move in one direction. It’s not that I am down-playing trauma or the difficulties of life, it’s just that once again, you can only move in one direction, and if we stay somewhere that is not moving us forward, then are we really living at all?

Throughout my life, I have been through multiple cases of trauma that have shook me, and unfortunately shaped me in some ways. Some traumatic events and seasons have been difficult, some have caused nightmares, PTSD, anxiety, fear, and confusion about my worth and purpose. I say this to say that I can relate to the feelings that come out of trauma. They are valid and expected. But once again, if we stay in a place of being shook, then we can never move forward.

Do you realize character is built through perseverance? That how you react to trauma and difficult challenges in life build your inner character? Your challenges have purpose. You may not understand the “why” to any of the trauma you experience, but you can use your walk through trauma as a way to help others who need help in the future. You can learn and grow from any situation, any experience, and any time you wonder, “how can I get through this?” Your walk could be the very thing that gives someone hope. It is also the key to where your life goes from here.

So how do we react to trauma and the “coming out” season after?

First of all , let’s address that going through trauma is tough. Cry when you need to cry, grieve when you need to grieve, allow yourself the freedom to be hurt. This allows you to analyze the situation and recognize that it is, what it is. You can start to move forward by addressing the hurt. For some people, this part is easy. For some people, it is harder. Either is fine, allow yourself the freedom to grieve and to address the hurt.

Now, we move forward. If we stay “stuck”, then we aren’t progressing, growing, or helping ourselves or anyone. Being complacent is essentially worse than not having the capability at all to move forward, because at this point, we have chosen not to move. Being complacent means you have the opportunity to grow, but you are choosing not to.

The point to where you choose to “stay” in a place of fear, anxiety, and bad mindsets, you are giving a “yes” to steps backward and a “no” to your steps forward. This can be difficult to read, because, yes trauma is hard. But you were not built to be a victim for the rest of your life. You are built to overcome anything. Remember that your walk through trauma will shape you, and can potentially make you the strongest “you” that you have ever been! Your challenges have purpose, and you have purpose.

Your story of how you come out of trauma will shape you, my friend. Be easy on yourself, at times you may find yourself going back and forth, realizing that the grieving is not always a one-time deal. The concept is not to rush the healing and progression, but to understand that you are made to move forward and be strengthened. You are made to succeed. And you are made to come out of trauma, stronger than you have ever been. The goal is to take steps every day to try and move in a forward direction.

Be encouraged, react to trauma in ways that will breathe life into your hurt. Once you feel that you have grieved, or you need a break from grieving, take baby steps to take your mindset into a place where you can see where strength can be built again. Some of these things have helped me in my own walk of dealing with the aftermath of trauma:

  • Surround yourself with those that love you most!
  • Do things that you love doing!
  • Meditate (Why do so many people disregard this one?? I mean this gives you time to think, and analyze carefully, instead of reacting out of impulse or sweep your hurt under a rug!) MEDITATING IS AWESOME, DO IT.
  • Exercise. This doesn’t mean that you have to turn into a body builder. It just means move in a way that is fun for you. Find something that makes you feel great and gives your body strength!
  • Counseling. Seek people that can guide you into healthy thinking and can support encouragement back into your life.

In conclusion, remember that your walk through trauma has purpose. Give it purpose! Be easy on yourself, but also know where you want to be. You got this! Stay encouraged, and remember, trauma is separate from you. It can happen to you, but you, my friend, are built to overcome and to be successful! Trauma is something that you may go through at times, but it is not meant to overtake you.

I truly hope that this perspective gives all those dealing with the aftermath of trauma encouragement.

 

 

 

How To Create More Time in the Day

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Throughout my life, I have found myself chuckling at the many ironies of life. We’ll get back to this.

So this may sound like one of those quit-your-job-for-my-pyramid-job-schemes, but I promise, I’m not here to sell you anything. Except for the idea that you are built for more than your current situation!

Do you ever feel like you are just barely getting through the day? Almost like it’s a struggle to get through the minimum (getting the bills paid, working a full workday without taking a nap, putting up with your coworkers, etc.)? In the back of your head, you have the side of you that is ALIVE. Bursting with dreams, aspirations, things that make you come alive. And then you think to yourself…how do I get there?

The irony is that you get there by making time. So at this point, you are probably telling yourself, “But I don’t have enough time in the day as it is, to get even the minimum done.” You are probably also thinking about how exhausted you are during the day. So where do we find the time and energy for the things that make us come alive? The dreams that are in our hearts? The goals that we have that are realistic, but out of arms reach?

The answer is…YOU MAKE TIME! Going through the everyday motions without challenging your potential, prevents your motivation for happiness and breakthrough. So why is that important? It’s a lot easier to just say, “eh…yeah but what I am doing right now works, I get through it”. This type of mindset is only ideal if you can see yourself staying where you are at right now for the rest of your life. BLUH, how boring! You were built for way more, my friend. You were born to live with your eyes in wonder of all that you can do! Your happiness and breakthrough is not only essential to make the most out of your life, but it is also important because it is less stressful to do what you are naturally born to do. So in summary, you are happier, more efficient, and you are less stressed when you dare to dream and put your footsteps towards your dreams.

So now that you know that you need to make time, again, where is the ‘friggin time??? You have to make time to get time. Here’s the secret to being more productive and making time for your dreams and making time for what makes you ‘click!’:

  • Buy and use a calendar book EVERY day. I have found that this only works if you use it EVERY day. Writing down your “musts” daily, and write down an attainable goal for the day that will get you where you want to be with your goals/dreams. Every day is an opportunity. The “musts” will be things that you have to get done- bills, projects at work, etc. The goals/dreams will be things that are essential to your happiness that create success for you- posting videos and becoming a YouTube star, losing 15 pounds, creating a website, etc. Make sure you have at least one of both of these categories on your daily do’s.
  • In your calendar book, write down a goal for the month that will help get you where you want to be, with your “musts” and your goals/dreams. The daily “musts” AND goals/dreams that you set should align with the monthly goals. Have at least one of both on your monthly notes.
  • Keep a physical reminder around of your goals/dreams. What you love doing, is so important, it is not “just a hobby”, but the fuel to challenge your dreams. It is important to remind yourself how important it is that you surround yourself with where you can be!
  • Even the small steps make the difference. But always challenge yourself to go further, if you can.

Doing these things will help you sit back and prioritize your time carefully. Careful preparation is the answer to creating more time. If you can take a few minutes each day to write down your “musts”, to get through the day, and what little steps you can take toward your goals/dreams, then you will be more productive throughout the day. YES!! I said YOU WILL BE MORE PRODUCTIVE!! HALLELUJAH! I have found that when I take the time to write down my “musts”, along with my daily steps to reach my dreams/goals, that I go through my day knowing that I have an achievable game-plan to be successful.

So in case you haven’t caught on, the irony is that to get more time, you have to make more time. It is not about getting through the day, but taking a few minutes each day to map out how you are going to get where you want to be. It is also about deciding early on, where your destination is.

How To Overcome Writer’s Block

Topic: How To Overcome Writer’s Block

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As a type A, I often get frustrated at myself if I am not constantly doing something productive. Being a creative person to, writers block really stinks! However, I have learned something about writers block and how beautiful it is. When we go through writers block it can often mean that there is or there is a need for transition in our life. Sometimes it’s a physical change we need, or a mental change. I think it’s important to take time to meditate to think about these things if you’re “stuck” in your creativity:
🌷Do you need to make a shift in your physical life or do you need a shift in your thinking?
🌷Take time to think about the season you’re entering
🌷What struggles and high points could you face?

With that being said I wrote this from my own thoughts on handling writers block:

There will be time, when you don’t have words.
And that is okay.
There is a time to create, to bring forth a picture, to make your thoughts dance.
But there is also a time to listen, to gaze, to meditate, and to rest.
To think on a new time and a new season.
To think about what you want to see, and what you want to say.
Careful thought to words, breeds a life that is well guided.
Creation that is bred in this way gives passage to life and clear way of thinking